Kaku's Five Stages

                                                  Kaku's Five Stages

Disclaimer: Don't own One Piece.

Kilnorc: Okay, honestly, for the life of me, I have NO idea what possessed me to do this...oh well. Based off a Robot Chicken skit.

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With a pounding headache, Kaku woke up and found himself in a strange predicament. Looking around, he saw that he was slowly sinking into a puddle of thick good, and nearby, a sign was posted firmly in the ground

                                                   DANGER! QUICKSAND!

Thinking quickly, Kaku used his Ushi Ushi no Mi: Model Giraffe and transformed into his large giraffe form, hoping to reach out and grab a branch to pull himself out. However, the added weight of his new body forced him to sink further and quicker into the muck. He looked around again and tried to move his legs, but was unable to do so.

"Uh oh...,"

                                                         STAGE ONE
                                                             DENIAL

Kaku grinned and shook his head, "I can't believe I'm getting so freaked out about this! I bet this isn't even quicksand," he glanced at the sign, "Stupid Jyabura...lousy idea for a prank. I'll have a good laugh about this with the others later...,"

                                                           STAGE TWO
                                                              ANGER

"Well this is just (bleep)in' perfect!" Kaku shouted after sinking further into the muck, "Stupid quicksand! Stupid jungle! I'm gonna bite someone in the face! Mother(bleep), mother(bleep), mother(bleep)! Argh, stupid jungle! (BLEEP)!!"

                                                          STAGE THREE
                                                           BARGAINING

Kaku looked up at the blue sky after sinking again, "Are you there, Oda-sama? It's me, Kaku! Listen, if you could give me a mulligan on this whole quicksand thing, I promise...I promise...no more fighting with Jyabura when he makes fun of my Devil Fruit. We gotta deal?"

                                                          STAGE FOUR
                                                          DEPRESSION

Kaku bawled at the top of his lungs. He had tried for so long, and even despite his strength and Rokushiki training, he couldn't even pull himself out of the pit of quicksand, which now was just under his chin.

"MOMMY!"

                                                            STAGE FIVE
                                                            ACCEPTANCE

"You know something? I'm cool with this," Kaku nodded, much calmer now than before, "I bet Heaven's got all the opponent's I can take on, and Jyabura won't make fun of my Fruit!" he smiled widely and sighed contently, "Take me now, sweet Death, I await your loving embrace!"

All of a sudden, he came to a stop. Kaku blinked and turned his head as best he could. The bottom of his chin was touching the surface of the quicksand pit, but he was no longer sinking into the pit.

"What the-? I must've hit the bottom...," he tried to move around once again, but discovered that it was still usless, "Aw (bleep),"

A soft honking sound made him turn to see the penguin from the Axe-Head crew staring at him.

"Hey, little help here?!"

Pingu looked at him, honked, jumped onto his head and then jumped to the other end of the pit, leaving him behind.

"(BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!)"